2006-03-13 // 14:00:34
retina
hey! I´ll try to help you a little little bit and i know, that this is very difficult. i hope you understand my bad english!! a few years ago, i had a situation, which traumatized me a lot. to tell you this story, it would take me hours (especially because of my bad command of english). i can describe it like this: it was like banging with a car against a wall with 150 miles/hour. vou never forget the moment of collision, but you learn to live with it. i know this feelings of desperation. you think this fear will never end and it is like going crazy. i often felt, i was loosing my control and my thoughts weren´t realistic anymore. i decided to go to a psychotherapist and this was a very good decision. i developed strategies against this fear (it sounds like an easy thing, but it was very hard and a long way) and now it is part of my life, but the fear doesn´t control my life anymore. why don´t you surch another flat?? i think this is not an escape, maybe you feel relieved. i know, that my words cannot remove your fear, but i think there are many people, who have fear and each has to develop strategies to stay alive. i wish you luck to find a good way!

2006-03-13 // 09:31:13
OJBriggs
Camden is the first which is right next to us...
The other day right out front of my house was a huge fight of 30 black dudes... then one pulled out a gun... I watched it all go down from my apt window and didnt have enough time to get the video camera... It was awesome!.... oh and I pay $975 for a two bedroom

2006-03-13 // 09:27:59
OJBriggs
Hey I understand... It has happened to me plenty of times at my apt in Philly... Mainly because I'm that only "dope white boy" that lives in the ghetto... I had a video camera taken from my house and one of my huge paintings... seperate occassions... maybe even more stuff missing... my locks are always fucked with... I have a weird alarm now that when you open the door it goes off but I always forget to turn it on... dead bolt... They're crazy out there.

2006-03-10 // 18:54:32
dash
F*ck this world sometimes
i get angry reading this
sorry gal, happy you are kind of okay
for it is kind of
:(

^ i'm not ok and I never will be ok... I live in paranoia for the rest of my life. :(

2006-03-10 // 03:59:22
Urizen
Very personal, Mrs Stoopidgerl, sorry to know you feel so scared. Can't say i undesrtand it, as i never lived something like that.
Once i was beaten at the street and spent some weeks getting really nervous when walking anywhere. But then i kind of forgot, and things got normal, as always. I'm sure that soon you'll notice that you forgot about looking through the peeohole, too.
Anyway, i'm sure this shot must be a great way of "exorcising" your fears (if this word really exists)

^ stuff like this is burned into ones mind forever... no matter how hard I try I can't get over it... maybe when I move things will get better. But things in my area are getting worse by the day... armed robberies just about every day. Last week my boyfriend's car windows got smashed out and stereo stolen then a couple days later his car was stolen. That's the 2nd most dangerous city in America for you!