2008-02-06 // 19:22:24
Dra.Strangela
Te lo voy a decir muy en serio:
Quiero una copia de esta foto en grande. Quiero llevármela a donde yo esté. que me acompañe en mis solitarios viajes, donde sea que yo esté.
Para recordar que... eres un genio.
Yey you... u have the flow (o como coño se escriba eso)

^ Para tus solitarias noches en alta mar? El cura de tu parroquia no te dijo que así te quedarás ciega? Es que soy un basto... Pero el original está hecho con papel de platina, si lo vieras ya flipabas... loca...

2008-01-14 // 15:00:07
Esther.Z.Schnickenacke
Oh in that case, forget it. I take a very strict stance on custard.

^ Our love is impossible... Does this also cancel my engagement with Itzik? Tell him i can renegotiate his conditions. I was expecting a 2x1 so now he has to bring something more to the deal. You should go to a lawyer and value yourself to know how many goats Itzik should put on the table in compensation.

2008-01-14 // 13:49:35
Esther.Z.Schnickenacke
I'm all for polygamy. It's my favourite thing apart from custard.

^ Oops, THAT might be a problem. I only like chocolate custard, i hate vanilla ones. On what are we gonna base our marriage?

2008-01-12 // 17:07:26
Stefano

We met in Bratislava, in the back of a Kentucky Fried Chicken. Obviously you are pretending not to remember me. Or maybe you are actually senile, because you have gotten into too many fights that ended with somebody breaking a Danish Modern barstool over your head.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that this "portrait" is quite simply amazing, and that it takes my breath away.

Oh, and my thug is not a *he* — my thug is an adorable little Japanese girl in a cute Hello Kitty T-shirt. Please use the correct pronoun: "he-man."

Yes, I am a pear, but I have what the men down by the docks call "nice avocado hips," so it’s a little confusing.

^ I don't care what you say, that Avocado is not my son. He doesn't look like me at all. I'll give you no money, i learnt a lot of what happened to poor Boris Becker. And i've never been to Bratsilava and if i would, i swear i would never pick up a Pear dressed in red for a night of passion in which i made you scream my name four times while sticking your nails into my swollen burning skin. Who said anything about a red dress? I didn't. How could i know if i haven't see you and my son in my whole life?!

2008-01-12 // 16:45:40
Stefano

Hey! You didn’t tell me about *any* of these stupid bitch-ass wenches! This is so humiliating. And aggravating. And infuriating. I mean, there was no love between us, it was purely a business transaction, arranged through an unscrupulous Croatian man who specializes in avant-garde passports, people smuggling, and hacking up phlegm. You were going to help me get my citizenship and then I was going to vanish from your life forever. (I even had a nice waiter job lined up at a fresh seafood restaurant in Bosnia.)

And yet. And yet. And yet it still hurts. It hurts so bad to find out about these dumb tarts who probably are so dumb they are fucking stupid. And I don’t know why, and it’s making me upset, and it’s making me ANGRY.

I sent my thug friend to your hovel. My friend is not so nice. She is bigger than you, nastier than you, and she is going to mess up your facial aesthetics bad, but like *bad* so you gonna end up looking like a fucking Cubist painting. You’ll never model for Prada again. (p.s. Nice Prada sweatshirt!)

Danjerrus maderfaker, meet Hello Kitty Azz-Kicker
»link

^ Who the hell are you? Damn, that's the proof i have to inmediately stop proposing to people. It's a too expensive hobby. Really, who the hell are you? Pear? I can't recall any Pear! I remember vaguely something about trying to marry a Carmen Miranda fruit hat, but definitely no pear in it... i think... or were you on it? What class of Pear are you? No, no, only tropical fruits... i'm sure. Anyway, send me this thug friend, maybe he can get me in coma and do me a favour taking me out of this whole crazy-brides situation.

2008-01-11 // 15:11:52
Esther.Z.Schnickenacke
Shut up all of you.

Uri, this is beautiful. I want you to wear this at our wedding.

^ Who exactly are you shuting up and why? I'm confused. But anyway, i have to talk to you... The truth is that i already engaged with other women... Carmen is one of them... i never thought it would be something "excluding"... i have lots of love to spread... i mean... my question is: what's your opinion on polygamy?

2008-01-11 // 11:33:48
Norah.Goldenbogen
thank you. i liked your story too. as well as i liked itzik's shmendrik. you guys really know how to give 100%

but seriously. i think the maderfaker is born to be a comic. now all you need is a simple story.

^ I can sell you the cinematographic rights for a ridiculous amount. Just give me a price.

^ I looked up in google and still don't know what you're saying: Itzik's Schmendrik? Did i miss something?

2008-01-11 // 11:19:19
Norah.Goldenbogen
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
so beautiful

you should make a comic out of it.

^ Now that you mention comics, 'Clitorella' is one of the absolutely best things i've seen in a lot of time, it has everything. I didn't tell you because i was ashamed of admitting i was reading a porn magazine and because your ego is already too big. But... Respect for it written in capital letters.